Average Bisexual TS woman's blog

Since i'm not sure i'll get a chance to post tomorrow thought i'd share another Halloween post today. Growing up i wore a variety of costumes for Halloween. But my favorite was always Dracula. I wore that costume several times over the years. I never got to wear a girls costume for Halloween but in tribute to my favorite Halloween costume here is a cute girl's vampire costume i would have totally worn if given the chance.

Growing up Halloween was always one of my favorite times of the year. I loved picking out a costume, getting dressed up and going trick or treating. I always liked the scary costumes, Dracula, wolfman, the devil etc. But never got to go in a girl's costume. One year i deistinctly remember shopping for a Halloween costume and seeing a witches costume like the one above. I realized that's what I wanted to be that year. I innocently asked my dad is there any such thing as a boy witch knowing he wouldn't let me be a girl witch. He said yes but they are called warlocks. I was excited and asked do they wear the same costume? He said no they would wear something different. My hopes were dashed and i didn't go as a witch or a warlock that year not sure what i went as in fact. But sadly i did not get to be a witch because that was a girl's costume.  

I fully admit during my journey my life has had a few interesting maybe even strange twists. At one point i discovered the adult baby community. People who enjoy dressing up like and being treated like infants to the point of wearing diapers and sometimes even having someone who acts like a parent. They do this not for sexual reasons or anything like that but just to relive those years and maybe escape the more unpleasant aspects of adult life even for a short time. I was fascinated by the idea. So i got on a few adult baby message boards and realise i wasn't the only trans woman who was on there either. It seemed it was a popular way for tran people to go back and relive the early part of their life as the gender they feel they were. I invested in a couple baby outfits and pacifiers. Due to some incontinence due to my disability i already had adult diapers i wore on occasion and i'd sleep in baby clothes at night sometimes even wear them during the day. I tried to fin...

After a few years of starting to enjoy my femininity again I had a crazy idea and met a crazier guy thankfully never in person though. I discovered a website for people looking to meet a sugar daddy. Someone willing to shower them with gifts or money in exchange for a relationship. I had the idea hey what do i have to lose. I advertised on the sight as a preop trans woman looking for a sugar daddy to help make my transition come true in exchange for becoming his woman. I figured at the least i might get some more clothes, jewelry makeup etc maybe a lover and who knows maybe more. I got a few responses mostly from guys whop were clearly not serious some who were more poor than me. I'm not a materialistic girl but transitioning isn't cheap and i had very little money so the guy would need to have some money to make it happen. Then i started talking to this one guy who seemed genuinely interested. We chatted more and more he asked me to pick out some things i'd like hi...

In my last post i had described my first time being with a guy since being confined to a wheel chair. It was my first but not my last. Sadly i never had another regular lover the way i had had with Mike but i had several hook ups with guys i met online. Not the safest method of meeting guys but it worked. Another guy i met who was willing to overlook the wheel chair came ove to my house with the plan of both oral and anal sex. I get the impression he wasn't sure whether he'd beable to go through with it with someone wheel chair bound but he was willing to try. When he arrived he told me deapite what we'd talked about he wanted to just go with oral that day and if it went well maybe we could get together again down the road. We went back to my room and he was a tall muscular handsome guy with six pack abs and an amazing body. He dropped his pants and his cock was at eye level with me sitting in the wheel chair so it worked perfectly. I could see that his cock was alre...

It had been several years since i'd been with a man. Mike was out of the picture i think he like many guys were scared off by the wheel chair. I was sad to see that considering he was a really sweet guy a great lover and the man who took my virginity but I had moved on. Finding a guy who ccould see past the wheel chair wasn't easy but i found a guy who was willing to try. I'll admit it was a hookup online and its bad but i don't even remember his name. He was a younger guy African American again and when he showed up i was pleasantly surprised he was really cute. We kissed some before going back to my bedroom. First i made sure he was nice and hard by sucking his cock. He had told me he didn't like to use condoms and i knew it was risky but i told him ok as long as he pulled out before he came. If he did that he could do whatever he liked with his load. Being wheel chair bound and having no use of my legs i was limited to either being on my back, my side or...

After years of trying to recover the life I had had before cancer it was finaly starting to get on track. I was actually wearing women's clothes more now than i had before the cancer battle. But like i said before sometimes a girl just wants to feel sexy and not every clothing item has to be practical. After investing in the larger breast forms i starterd looking for other ways to make my body look more feminine. I found this bustier online. It had boning in the corset to help give a more feminine shape to my body. I bought it and with the c cup breast forms it definbately gave me a more feminine shape to my body. And it just felt sexy especially with the g string panties. This is not me in the photo but the outfit is the exact same one i bought.

As talked about in a previous post i had bought a set of breast forms that filled out an A cup sized bra previously. However the A cup bras never really fit me right because i really needed a larger chest size. So i went back online and invested in a larger breast form that would allow me to fill out a larger size bra as finding an A cup in anything bigger than a 36 is difficult. I found a sset of breat forms that would give me a full C cup. They were not as high quality or comfortable as the a cup ones and would never get the chance to wear them in public as i wouldn't do that without being fully dressed as a woman but they allowed me to measure myself for a proper bra fit and but two bras like the one seen here that fit properly. It made the bras so much more comfortable and i didn't need the bra extenders to wear them. I still wore my A cup bras and breast forms when out and about but wore these around the house.

Wit it more difficult to get around town i discovered the joys of online shopping. I was able to shop this way without getting any strange looks from sales staff and could find some great deals on clothing. My online shopoing trips resulted in more undergarments but also more outerwear including some cute denim skirts, a couple pairs of capris pants a dressier skirt and several cute tops as well. I finally had some every day wear appropriate for a woman my age. I still didn't have the courage to wear it outside the house but was wearing bras and panties daily in and out of the house. My life was back on track and it felt good.

After 5 years of being off track toward my goal my life finally seemed to be back on the road where i wanted it to be. I was shopping again. I was starting to dress in womens undergarments regularly and other clothes at home when i could again and my wardrobe was expanding. One thing i was never happy with though was no matter what bra i wore i really had nothing to fill it with. I never regained all the weight i lost in the hospital and even the man boobs i had were gone now. So i did a little online shopping and found some nice silicon breast forms. I finally had something to fill out my A cup bras when i wore them. And i was wearing them more and more often even in public going to school. And now with something to fill them they didn't ride up on me like they use to and i had a more feminine shape. Finally i could atleast look like i had what other women had and it felt good.

It had been 5 years since i won my battle with cancer. In that time even confined to a wheel chair i'd gone started taking college classes, met and fallen in love with a woman i would later marry gotten a job as a teacher with a local museum and for the most part gotten my life back to normal. This is after fighting for my life, battling depressions and living the life of a man with nothing feminine. One day i decided its time to get my life back on track and start working toward my goal of being a woman. A goal that had been sidelined for 5 years. I still could not drive as i did not have a specially equipped vehicle. So i took the local handicapped bus service to the mall and wnet shopping. My first purchases were the basics. A pink push up bra like the one seen here and several pairs of panties. I did most of my shopping at Hechts department store where i even joined their bra and panty club where if you bought so many bras or panties you got one free. I came home and imdeia...

May of 1999 i was released from the hospital after 3.5 weeks. I was in a wheel chair but still had some mobility and could walk with a walker or cane but i had a lot of physical therapy and cancer treatments ahead. The ride home from the hospital was 90 minutes. My dad was driving me and somewhere along the road he brought my world crashing down. He and my family had taken a lot of time when i was in the hospital and cleaned up my room which was admittedly a disaster, It was nessecary if i was ever going to get into the room in a wheel chair or even to walk in with a walker or cane. But he also revealed in the process he found everything. My clothes, my magazines my secret life. First he asked if this was a new thing I said no it had been going on for a long time. Then he said i was his son not his daughter and God doesn't make mistakes. He said he had thrown everything out and wouldn't have it. He asked if i wanted to be a girl? I was too angry and embarrassed to say yes...

I was 19 years old. Enjoying a year off before i planned to start college and transition into living as a woman full time. Then a series of events happened that spiraled down hill and set me back many years. First i lost my job. Not a big loss as i hated the place and its only bad side to losing it was i had no money coming in. Thankfully i was living at home so not a big problem but my bank account was getting pretty thin. Then i got into a relationship with a married woman a relationship that was obviously not healthy. The one upside to that relationship was she liked me dressed in women's clothes and in some ways was my first lesbian experience. But that quickly ended. I found a new job at a local amusement park and was looking forward to working their throughout the summer but their was still another problem. In the early spring on 1999 my left leg seemed to be getting weak and occasionally giving out on me. I had injured it severely several years earlier and it occasional...

As a young transgendered woman 17 and teen beat were not the only magazines i turned to for information. Another one i found in a local shop was Transformation. This magazine was touted at the magazine for men who want to be beautiful women. To be honest it was mostly porn star trans women barely clothed or sometimes having sex with men or eachother. But it also had some good tips and information as well. And the trans gendered women in the magazine were beautiful I saw their beauty as something to aspire to and hoped one day i could be just as beautiful. The cover seen above is an issue i actually had back in those days. Everything was going well for me. I had a job, was taking some time off before going to college, building up a wardrobe for my transition in college and Mike and I were still seeing eachother on a regular basis. I had broken up with my high school girlfriend before the end of senior year, a relationship that should have ended much earlier. Life was good but soon...

In 1998/1999 as i began to prepare myself for living as a woman. To that end i started trying to learn more about women's fashion, makeup etc form girls my age. So i turned to magazines like 17 and Teen Beat and 16. Magazines often read my teen girls (even though i was in my late teens by now.) Seventeen was great for fashion, makeup, hair, and dating tips. The others were more for the cute celebrity guys. One of my first celebrity crushes was Devon Sawa who was often featured in these magazines. I felt more and more like my journey to becoming a woman was underway.

The last couple of days I've talked about some of the more practical clothing i'd bought as a teenager mainly every day panties and bras and a dress. However sometimes every girl just wants to feel sexy too. To that end sometime during that summer/fall of 1998 i bought a black strapless bra a pair of tummy control panties ( i know they may not seem sexy but gave me a girlier figure) and thigh highs like the ones seen here. I hoped i might wear them for Mike who had become a more frequent visitor and lover. Sadly i eventually realized he wanted a boy not a girl but it didn't stop us from having fun and he was really good in bed. So i always took a submissive role in our love making and just thought of myself as a girl anyway. I know my blog talks a lot about clothing and dressing as a girl. Some might call me a cross dresser not a transsexual. But i can assure you my shopping my clothing choices everything i was doing in my mind was leading to my ultimate goal of transi...

Now that i'd built up enough undergarments to wear them daily it was time to start getting some every day clothes. I figured why not start with something fun and flirty. I found a little womens clothing store called Fashion Cents. They had some really cute stuff for sale including a little black dress similar to this one. They were very nice never asked any questions or treated me strangely for shopping there. They even had individual dressing rooms to try on clothes and had no problem with me using one. So in the summer of 1998 i bought my first dress. I loved it and wore it a lot though still never having the guts to yet go out in public. Whenever i wore it it made me feel so sexy. After all every girl needs a little black dress in her wardrobe.

By the time i graduated high school in June of 1998 I had built up enough clothing that i was wearing atleast panties to school almost every day. Unless i had Physical training for JROTC or a uniform inspection i was atleast partially dressing as a woman. I was never brave enough to wear a bra to school as i was always afraid it would show under my shirts like it did non most girls. I look back now and ralise i doubt it would probably neverhave been a problem since i wore loose clothes anyway. But in my school their were no openly Bi, Gay, or Trans students so i had to be in the closet. My wardrobe had expanded to include a basic bra like the one seen here to go with my other two and many pairs of fruit of the loom and Haynes her way panties in different styles and materials to suit my mood. Atleast in the underwear department i was building quite a wardrobe and getting myself ready to go to college and transition into becoming a woman. However by the time i graduated i was burne...

I had my first experience with a man more than a year earlier but had never gotten the experience i really wanted to try. Having a man inside me making me feel like a woman. I had continued chatting onlinelooking for a guy who would make it come true. I found Mike we talked several times then agreed to get together. He told me he was mainly interested in a male but if we got together and liked it maybe he's be up for a trans woman later. Wanting to try more i agreed even if i preferred trying this as a woman. Mike came over one day and it would be the day i lost my virginity to a man atleast. I had done so with a woman a couple of years earlier. Mike was a handsome African American guy and sweet. We went back to my dad's room which had a bigger bed than mine. He knew I wanted to try being a bottom and he was willing to top me. But first i needed to get him ready. I sat on the edge of the bed and he removed his pants. I could already see he was a lot bigger than Richard my f...

I was 18, had a job, and was determined that went i went to college I was going to come home living as a woman. I knew i couldn't do this all at once so i decided to add slowly but surely to my wardrobe. I knew i wouldn't get too many chances to wear outer clothes on a regular basis so i was expanding my foundation pieces. A bra and 2 pairs of panties did not a wardrobe make. So it was back to Kmart and found a cute bra and panty set similar to the one seen here. The bra however was just a soft cup pullover bra not a push up one like this one. I figured i could wear undergarments any time without anyone noticing and later i could start wearing the rest so it was a start. In the mean time i was chatting with guys online both guys interested in girls like me and gay men. I had come to the conclusion i was bisexual. I still had a hard time finding a man who wasn't looking for a boy not a trans girl at least one in my local area. But there was still more I wanted to try wi...

I've seen a recent increase in readers in the last few days so i thought i'd reintroduce myself and say a little about my blog. I'm 38 years old and a male to female transsexual. I have felt like a woman for as long as i remember. I'm bisexual and still live as a man with hopes of one day becoming the woman I truly am. All stories on this page are real. The pictures unless noted however are not me. They are representations of how i see myself or saw myself at various stages of my life. Some stories may be sexually explicit. If stories about transgendered, or bisexual individuals offends you then this blog is not for you. All are welcome but negative and hateful comments will not be tolerated. Please feel free to subscribe to my blog and please feel free to comment on any of my postings. This blog is the story of my life as well as musings on current events and being transgendered. It is meant to both entertain and inform. Please enjoy. Kristi Lynn

It was Halloween my senior year in High School. I have always love Halloween and i decided to take advantage of the holiday to do a little more shopping. In this case i actually went the day after Halloween hoping to take advantage of some after Halloween sales. I went to Party City and was determined i'd get something girly. Wasn't sure exactly what yet and the pickings were pretty slim by this point. After looking at what costumes they had in my size i settled on a French Maids costume like this one. Complete with fishnet tights, garter, and maids cap. I would never get to wear it anywhere but at home and i got a few weird looks from a male cashier but I didn't care I'm a girls I told myself i can wear whatever I want. I took it home and would often wear it when doing chores when no one was home just for fun. I felt so sexy in it and loved it combined with my recent bra and panty purchases.

After buying my first panties i felt confident and i had a part time job and money coming in so it wasn't long before i decided to expand my wardrobe. I had panties so what else does a girl need but a bra to wear with them. So i returned to k-mart and found a bra and panty set much like the one pictured here. The bra was a 36A soft cup non underwire front hook bra and the panties were of the same style above. I was again a little nervous going to check out but no one even gave it a second look the cashier was very professional and i was expanding my wardrobe to include the basics every girl needs. I felt so proud of myself for going shopping like any other girl would. By this point i was less than 2 years from graduating. I had made up my mind. My plan was to go to college a man and come back a woman transitioning at school and to start living full time so when i graduated i'd have completed the 2 year real life test needed to be approved for gende...

I remember exactly how it happened and even where i bought them. Clearly based on other posts these were not the first panties i ever wore but they were the first pair that were mine. I was a junior in high school. I'd been with my girlfriend for 2 years and we were sexually active. I had also had my first experience with a man as talked about in yesterdays post. My then girlfriend had no idea about any of this. Around Valentines day we were shopping at Kmart with her parents there as well. We had split off from her parents and were looking at the valentines section. She saw they had some satin thongs red with white hearts and white with red hearts on them. She told me if i bought her one she'd wear it for me. Needless to day i came back and bought one for here before valentines day when her parents were not there. What she didn't know was i took advantage of the opportunity knowing men buy stuff like this for their girlfriends for valentines day I figured no one would gi...

This is a true story though not a picture of myself. Warning this story contains sexual content.  As i posted yesterday by 1996 and age 17 i had my first real crush on a boy. I had thought guys were cute before but never had a serious crush. I still didn't really know what all of it meant. I felt like a girl but knew i was geneticly male. So my mind wondered did this mean i was gay? I had no concept of bisexual at that time. About this time I also got the internet and discovered AOL chat rooms and message boards and their LGBT community Planet Out. I started visiting the Planet Out chat rooms for young gay men and trans women. Some people sent me my first gay porn and i liked what i saw and wanted to try being with a man. I had a girlfriend at the time and had had sex with her before but the idea of being with a man excited me. So after many days and some nights spent in various chat rooms i found a local guy who was close to my age and interested in meeting up with only the expe...

For most of my life I have felt like a girl trapped in a man's body. But i had no real idea how that related to my sexuality. Did that mean i was a gay man who just wanted to make life easier by being a woman so i could date men openly? That didn't seem right no matter what my father and others claimed about trans women. Was i straight male who just felt like a woman? For many years i thought something along this line. I clearly remember being attracted to women. My first dates were all with girls. But i also remember seeing guys my age who i thought were cute. I remember thinking i wish i was a girl so they would want to go out with me. My main attraction was still toward women but sometimes i could not help having these thoughts about boys. It never really seemed strange to me when it happened either bu i continued dating girls wishing all the time i could be one of them. One thing though got my attention. As mentioned in a previous post i was a boy scout. And in ...

First off that is not me in the picture i wish i looked liked that. The title of this blog post is what said to myself after seeing an episode of the old Phil Donahue talk show around 1990. This was the days before every talk show was a Jerry Springer type circus when intelligent topics were discussed and Transsexual women were not portrayed simply as gay men and sex objects. That day I saw this beautiful woman Caroline "Tula" Cossey. As a young male by birth my first thought is wow she's attractive. Then my dad sais "She's a  man". I was stunned. How could this beautiful womwn be male and they were saying she had posed for Playboy a magazine that even at that age i knew featured naked women not men. So i kept watching and learned she had been born male but was transsexual and had surgeries to turn her into a woman. I had no idea the details of how this worked but i realized i was not the only boy longing to be a girl. And now I had a name for it. I finall...

After my grandmother cut off my crossdressing i had continued in private whenever i could. It became easier after my grandfather died. My aunt who was a woman in her 20s had moved into the house and i was able to enjoy some of her clothing. Among my favorites were her bras. Thy were a smaller cup size and fit better than my grandmothers and were younger in style more like the one seen here. One day i pulled one out of the hamper and put it on under my clothes and wore it all day like i had done many times before. But that afternoon my aunt was freaking out because she was getting ready for work and couldn't find her best bra. I had no idea it was the one i was wearing. I tried to avoid her and worked on something else but i couldn't even talk my voice and hands were shaking so much. She ended up wearing a different one and i managed to get it off after she left and hide it in a place that seemed like it was simply misplaced. I never heard anything more of it. I had been ca...

I think for most girls getting their first bra is a right of passage. Sadly it is not one i got to experience at least till i bought my own at 17 or 18 but that's a story for another time. I first started seeing my female classmates develop probably around 4th or 5th grade and like any genetic male or in my case transgendered and not yet realizing bisexual female I took notice. My first attractions were to girls and later boys as well. But one thing i also had was a desire to develop the way they were. To need a training bra the way they did. To have the same right of passage of getting my first bra like they did. I had worn bras before but had never had one of my own. In those days catalogs had pictures of girls my age wearing them in ads like the picture above and I wished i could get them along with the other clothes i saw as discussed in yesterdays post. It's funny how so many genetic women come to hate wearing a bra but trans women see it as part of being a woman and e...

After years of dressing up as I wanted to freely one day my grandmother told me the only way bshe'd let me continue was if my father told me it was ok. I'm not sure where this came from and she stuck to it for a while but eventually I was allowed to do so again. But then my grandparents moved to a new one story home where it was much harder to do so without my grandfather knowing it. So my dressing went on hiatus for a while. And when it started again it was now in secret. Sometimes when i pent the night sometimes just sneaking a bra and panties i'd wear during the day then put in the clothes hamper before i left to go home. My aunt also was discharged from the army about this time and it gave me oppurtunities for younger women's clothes. But at this point I was now closeted and would never get to openly play dress up again. One thing that did give me joy during this time period was the catalogs my grandmother would get for Sears and JC Penny's. I l...