Going in the closet

After years of dressing up as I wanted to freely one day my grandmother told me the only way bshe'd let me continue was if my father told me it was ok. I'm not sure where this came from and she stuck to it for a while but eventually I was allowed to do so again. But then my grandparents moved to a new one story home where it was much harder to do so without my grandfather knowing it. So my dressing went on hiatus for a while. And when it started again it was now in secret. Sometimes when i pent the night sometimes just sneaking a bra and panties i'd wear during the day then put in the clothes hamper before i left to go home. My aunt also was discharged from the army about this time and it gave me oppurtunities for younger women's clothes. But at this point I was now closeted and would never get to openly play dress up again.

One thing that did give me joy during this time period was the catalogs my grandmother would get for Sears and JC Penny's. I loved looking through them and picking out outfits i'd like to own. I found the above scans of the Sears catalog from 1992 online and i still remember which outfits i wanted from these pages even after all these years. In the top image i loved both outfits on the right page. I dreamed of the middle swimsuit on the bottom row in the middle picture. And I loved all the dresses in the bottom picture but especially the top left dress on the left page. I would go through every new catalog and look at all the cute clothes for girls my age and dream.