Am i Gay? Or Cute boys and group showers

For most of my life I have felt like a girl trapped in a man's body. But i had no real idea how that related to my sexuality. Did that mean i was a gay man who just wanted to make life easier by being a woman so i could date men openly? That didn't seem right no matter what my father and others claimed about trans women. Was i straight male who just felt like a woman? For many years i thought something along this line. I clearly remember being attracted to women. My first dates were all with girls. But i also remember seeing guys my age who i thought were cute. I remember thinking i wish i was a girl so they would want to go out with me. My main attraction was still toward women but sometimes i could not help having these thoughts about boys. It never really seemed strange to me when it happened either bu i continued dating girls wishing all the time i could be one of them.

One thing though got my attention. As mentioned in a previous post i was a boy scout. And in those days summer camp shower houses were all open showers no privacy. And when I would shower with the guys in my troop and other troops none of whom were ashamed to shower naked even with other guys. I noticed more and more I liked what i was seeing. Hot young often tone naked bodies with a full view of everything. This led me to explore more online which lead to my first time with a guy which will be tommorow's story.

One guy in particular i met at camp when i was 17 this was 1996. I remember seeing him in the showers and in his swim trunks in life saving class and i knew i had my first real crush on a guy. I don't even remember his name now and he never knew the crush i had on him. But this toned tanned guys with a swimmers build and a cute smile became my first crush on a guy and my life would never be the same afterwards. More on that rode to discovery tomorrow and in the coming days.