Average Bisexual TS woman's blog

When I was a Boy Scout And i was for many years a common campfire song we would sing was "If I were not a Boy Scout" The song had several verses one of which said "A Girl Scout I would Be." Whenever i sang this song all i could think about is i wish it were true. many of the other girls in my class were Girl Scouts and I always wished i could have been. I don't want to take anything away from the Boy Scouts they have a great program and the tomboy in me enjoyed the years i was in that program. That program also made me start to realize other things I had in common with other girls but more on that to come in a later posting. The Girl Scouts pride themselves on turning out strong caring and well educated women who make a difference in their community. I just wish I could have been one of them. I'm happy to see the Girl Scouts now accept all girls regardless of their birth gender. Sadly it came too late for me. I'm also happy to see the Boy Scouts are

As i said before being caught between the world of male and female i never really felt like a boy but there were certainly some things i enjoyed that were more targeted at boys than girls. This is why i can say i was a bit of a tomboy even as a trans girl. Don't get me wrong i was just as comfortable in a frilly dress as i was in boys clothes and i enjoyed the outdoors. I also enjoyed several cartoon series oriented toward boys. Two of my favorites were GI Joe a Real American Hero and Voltron Defender of the Universe. Both shows targeted at boys both with strong female characters. It turns out my to favorite characters were Lady Jaye on GI Joe and Princess Allura on Voltron. Lady Jaye a tough woman the equal of any of her male counterparts. A fierce fighter who was also just as comfortable in high heels and an evening gown as she was in combat boots and fatigues. She was certainly never a damsel in distress type. And on top of all that she was romantically involved with the d

When i was in elementary school a new line of dolls was introduced called the American girls collection. At first they had 3 all from different peiods in history each featured a series of books about their lives each had a matching doll. And Each had various outfits from their time period. The coolest thing about them was their were matching outfits for the girl who owned one available as well. Each year our school librarian featured the books and dolls in the library and encouraged students boys and girls alike to read them, She tried to get the boys to read saying what good stories they were especially for someone like me who loved history. Most boys didn't bother but i like the other girls in my class enjoyed them. I read a couple of Molly's books set in World War 2. As much as i really enjoyed the books thought I really wanted a doll and matching outfits like some of my classmates had. Sadly since i was seen as a boy to most of the world it was never to be. The American

Growing up even feeling like a girl and knowing i should be a girl I could also be a tomboy. I still played with many boy toys like was expected. I enjoyed playing in the outdoors and could be somewhat rough and tumble. But I also liked some of the girlier things too. Besides the before mentioned liking Care Bears and Rainbow Brite I loved dolls as well. From an early age i loved all things space and when they came out with an astronaut Barbie and Astronaut Cabbage Patch kid dolls i was dying to own both. But could never bring myself to ask for either because even at that age i'd been told boys don't play with dolls. Then on a visit to my female cousin's home in North Carolina all we had to play with were girl's toys and i admitted to her mother also a cousin of mine that I loved playing Barbies and she asked me if i'd like her to buy me one and send it to me back home. At first i jumped on it and when asked which one and since astronaut Barbie was no longer a

I may have had the heart and mid of a girl but i was cursed with the body of a boy. And over the years this manifested itself in more ways than one. Of course there is the usual things as you get older. But i was always a big boy even when i was little. I was never blessed with the grace and flexibility of my other female classmates and I hated that. As a bigger heavier kid (I grew up to be 6 feet tall though lost some weight later) i never walked lightly. My father once told me as a threat that if i didn't stop stomping around he'd put me in ballet. He considered it a threat. In my hear i wished he would. I knew other girls who were in ballet and other dance classes at a local dance school. They all had a pretty pink satin jacket with their name embroidered on it. I longed to be like them, to be a pretty graceful ballerina. My dad on the other hand never meant it and I doubt he'd ever out a son of his in something that feminine and i played it off like i hated the id

I think that every little girl dreams of growing up and meeting the man of her dreams and becoming a beautiful bride, wearing a beautiful wedding gown, and walking down the isle. Even if i was born a boy I was a girl at heart and had the same dreams. The same grandmother who had let me play dress up whenever i wanted caught me looking at a catalog that she subscribed to that had a lot of toys and other things for kids. At the time I was looking at a little girls fancy dress costume much like the one in the picture. She asked me would I like her to buy it for me? I look back and i know i should have jumped on the chance. But i was too scared to admit to anyone that I really wanted to be a girl. I would have loved to have that wedding dress costume more than anything else in the catalog. And who knows it might have lead to more clothes of my own. But i said no. I couldn't yet come to grips with who I was inside. I could have pretended to be a beautiful bride with my own wedding dress

 When my dresses disappeared I had to find new ways to express myself. I had no sisters, my mother was deceased and had no other close female relatives so i turned to my grandmother's closet. She for many years went along with me playing dress up letting me try on her dresses, shoes, bras, panties and pantyhose. She let me sleep in her night gowns when i would spend the night at her house and let me put my hair up in curlers at night as well so i'd be pretty in the morning. For me this arrangement was heaven and she never seemed to have a problem with it at least not for several years. Today's picture is actually me in her dress jewelry and lipstick. Sorry I'm not brave enough to include my face in the picture. I would guess i was about 7 or 8 at the time.

 When I was 6 my mother was killed in a car accident. My parents had been divorced for a couple of years and my mother had remarried, my younger brother and I had gone to live with her and my step father. When she died we had to live with my father and his parents. What was already heartbreaking was compounded by the fact i'd lost the main feminine influence in my life my mother. My brother and i still saw my mother's parents though on a regular basis. We spent 3 days a week at their home after school and in the summer. We would often also spend the night there. As some point while staying there i discovered two of my mom's old dresses. One blue and one purple both gorgeous velvet material. My grandmother bless her soul had no problem with me wearing them and i took every opportunity to do so. My grandfather the same one who caught me in the dress in preschool did not approve but he was still working in those days so i could do it when he was not home. I even convinced my

   In many ways growing up i would have been seen as a typical boy of the 1980s. I liked and played with GI Joe and Transformers and other boy toys and watched their shows. But two of my favorite shows were more on the girly side too. I also loved Rainbow Brite and Care Bears. So much so about the age of 5 my pajamas were rainbow brite. Not the ones pictured above mine were not that pretty and girly but they were also i didn't find out till later in life when i learned my wife had worn the same pair growing up that they were not marketed as boys pjs but as girls. I wish mine could have been as girly as the ones in this picture but mine were blue with footies. I'm glad looking back that my mom was not stuck on the boys only play with boy toys and wear boy clothes. But sadly by the time i was 6 she had passed away and i'll never know how far that could have gone. I through ion the picture of the Care Bears Trash can because its the same one i had at that age,

It's funny the things you remember even after more than 30 years. Even though i knew i felt like a girls probably as young as 2 years old other than my mom curling my hair i never had a chance to express it. Then one day in pre school probably about 4 years old I discovered the wonderful world of the dress up box we had. That was the first time i ever put on a dress. It was denim probably not unlike the one in the picture. I spent the day playing with the other girls and loving it.I wore a dress and played with dolls and the girls treated me like one of them. Surprisingly no teachers said anything or made anything of it. Surprising being a church run pre school. That day of play opened a whole new world to me and made me fell like one of the girls like i felt i should have always been. That afternoon i also got my first wakeup call to the fact that not everyone was so accepting. My grandfather picked me up from preschool that day. I was still wearing the dress when he arrived.

For as long as i can remember I always felt like i should have been born a girl. Though i had no idea why or what it meant for many years I just remember wanting to be pretty. My earliest memory i couldn't be more than 3 or 4 years old. I remember finding some of my mother's clothes and thinking how soft they felt and how pretty they were. I remember wanting to be just like my mom. One day she was curling her hair and i asked if she could curl mine too. I had pretty long hair at that age. My mom agreed and I felt so pretty. It seems like such a small thing now but i also realize it was the start of what would be a long road to discovering who and what I really am. Now unlike the boy in this picture my mom used a curling iron I wouldn't get to use rollers until years later but for me it was a start. Sadly my mother died when i was 6 and I never had the chance to tell her how i felt but I have been told she always wanted a daughter and she had 2 boys. I think back and wish i

Just to introduce myself. I'm 37 years old. I unfortunately still live as a man but have felt i should have been born a girl for as long as i can remember. This blog will feature stories of growing up trans gendered, stories of discovery and sometimes stories of an adult nature. All of the stories are true and come from my real life some will be adult only stories some will be grated. What i write will depend on my mood. Feedback is always welcome.